Identity Crisis

Do you ever have those moments when your life changes so much that you are going through an identity crisis? I certainly have.

Three years ago I was fulfilling a life dream and serving the Lord as a youth pastor's wife and church secretary. It was everything that I had ever worked toward and my destiny. I wanted it to be perfect, and of course it wasn't. During those ten short months that I lived in the South and served as a youth pastor's wife, I thought that is who I would be forever. I had achieved the role God wanted for me.

But I discovered all too soon, that I would not stay a youth pastor's wife for long. I would go back to being an ordinary church member in an ordinary church. Not even teaching a Sunday school class or having an opportunity to minister in close to a similar capacity.

Ten months doesn't seem like a lot and in the scheme of my life it truly isn't, but it doesn't change the fact that for those ten months I was a pastor's wife. I experienced in rapid succession and extreme pain the joy and struggle of being a youth pastor's wife. I truly thought that was who I would be forever. So at the end, I went through a pretty serious identity crisis.  If you have experienced this, you know what I am talking about.

It took a long time for God to work in my heart and make me realize that who I am is a child of God. Who I am is not dependent on my role in ministry or my position in a church. Who I am is determined by the relationship I have with God. Life is an everyday surrender to God and there were times that I forgot that. Not thinking that I had arrived, but thinking that I was exactly where God wanted me and He wasn't going to move me. Does that make sense?

The last two years have taught me so much about God and how He works in people's lives. In fact it has been like a total reset and perspective change. But that doesn't mean that those months were useless or negated.

Over the next few things I would like to share some posts that I wrote as a young pastor's wife living in the South, after growing up in the North. It made for some funny situations and heart-felt posts. Enjoy!